That’s what writing posts on the internet can be like. Farting in a Room Full of Ghosts.
You’re sure there’s someone there– or at least you’re hopeful.
You have something bottling up inside and you have to let it go… so you do.
And then you wonder… Did anybody hear me? Or am I all alone?
Sometimes I want to rant and rave and share all about my weaknesses and struggles and pains and doubts and fears– and sometimes I do. But most of the time reason gets the better of me and I realize, “The Internet isn’t my therapist and my website isn’t my diary.” So I keep it hidden away (and I’ve even hidden posts that I’ve already made so they can’t be found) and I wait until I have something profound/unique/beneficial, hoping that someone somewhere will read it. And sometimes it takes months (as you will see in the Monthly Posts list on the right sidebar.) In the meantime, who am I sharing the junk with? (Most likely the one comment I might get on this post will be someone pointing out how I just ended a sentence with a preposition.) But really, who? Friends, at times. A counselor or pastor every once in a while. Family, most of all. But I’d say 70% of what goes on inside my head stays locked away, partially because I don’t want it to see the light of day, for my own benefit and the benefit of others, and partially because I don’t think any one will care.
Now, I’m sure once I post this there’ll be that one friend or someone else who reaches out and says, “Hey, how are you doing?” Well, thanks. And already my brain tells me, “So you’re basically just writing a petty pity post, huh?”
Yep. I guess.
Every once in a while you’ve got to let out a fart.
P.S. I’m proud to say, according to Google, I am the first person to type of “Farting in a Room Full of Ghosts.” I should get a medal.