Now, before you balk at my the title and the weird picture and think, “Oh no, Evan has joined some sort of weird cult!” take a step back, breathe, and give this post a read.
The picture, by the way, is from one of Doctor Who’s most infamous episodes– Love & Monsters. It has a reputation of being one of the most loved and most hated episodes in DW history (as far as I know). You see, the story about a guy named Elton and his rise to heroic virtue is so very inspirational– but the monster of this episode, not so great. I just found out the monster was actually designed by a young child for a Doctor Who contest, and it all makes much more sense. The monster is pretty gross and rather amateur compared to some of Doctor Who’s wide range of villains. He is called an Abzorbaloff, because he is fueled by the experiences and lives of the people he… well, absorbs.
Ok, now to get back on point. I probably lost about half of you in that random rabbit trail. So for the few, the brave, the people who are still fearing for my soul, here’s a better picture to describe what I’m talking about. We are not Abzorbaloffs, but instead we are Absorbians. We ABSORB life and time as we go through the Past, the Present, and the Future.
I drew this the other day when I was feeling homesick and despairing about where my life was going. After putting this down on paper, it just clicked. Now I am not going to argue this theologically or even philosophically– you can place this in the “Thoughts to Ponder” folder of your brain, computer, or filing cabinet.
This is us.
We live in the present, with our feet moving into the future where our minds have already camped out– but what about the past? You see, I believe that the past is stored up within us, something like this:
Our minds are constantly focused on what is coming next, what the future holds, what might happen tomorrow. Our feet are also ever going into the future, at least that’s how it should be– we should always be moving forward. Sometimes it’s a slow pace, sometimes it’s at breakneck speeds- but we have to go forward into life. We inhabit the present with all our senses– our eyes, our ears, our skin and more. We breathe in the present, taste the present, feel the present. At the same time we work in the present– we work day by day. All you have is today– the past is intangible and the future is unknowable. We live in the present.
But the past? Oh the past. The reason I believe it is so hard for some of us at difficult times in our lives (death, loss, separation, change) is because we ABSORB our world and treasure it within. The past lives within us. Yes, historically speaking it is behind us, and scientifically speaking it can be recorded and measured, but the experience of the past is constantly flowing into our souls, our very being. Memories of childhood. The scent of a lover. The intimacy of friends. The awe of the Grand Canyon. All those experiences are within– however, this is true of the good and the bad.
Just as you can’t stop a flowing river carrying life-giving water as well as death-causing disease, you can’t stop life from impacting your soul. You can try to put up filters and nets and protection to keep out death, disease, and pain. But then you become dry, dusty, numb, because you’ve blocked the water as well.
Our lives are filled with these three questions:
Where am I going? What does the future hold? What plans do I need to make for tomorrow? Will the future be bleak or calm? What’s going to happen to me?
What am I doing? Am I living a worthwhile life? Am I healthy? Am I active? Is this what God’s will is for me this day? What can I do better? Can I survive this day?
Who am I? What do I believe in? What do I stand for? Who do I love? What do I despise? What experiences have formed me? What do I turn to for love?
We can easily focus too much on any of these questions. Focus on the future and worry can overtake your life. Focus on the present and you can get tunnel vision. Focus on the past and you can stop moving forward.
I feel like I am constantly stuck on that last question. I am forever feasting on the goodness of the past and avoid the potential of the present and the possibilities of the future. I block out what I might find here, because it is unknown, untested, possibly unsafe. I’d rather stick to what I know.
This so often translates into this:
Possibilities are scary. Experiences can be frightening. Memories are safe. We are all like Mary who, as Jesus grew up, “treasured all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51). But we can have unhealthy attachments to our treasures. Memories are to be monuments to God’s grace, love, mercy, goodness, faithfulness, and promises. Some are obvious and point to God, like the night I rededicated my life to Christ, and some simply point to Goodness itself– the smell of walking into my old school in Norway. When we live in our Treasure Room, the land is left without a ruler. Too often I feel pain because I feel stretched between the past and the present, like a rubber ruler who is grasping the doors of the Treasure Room as his servants pull him back towards the Court for his daily royal duties. When we only concern ourselves with the past, the Goodness of God in the present and the future are, as a result, rejected by a foolish heart.
We need (or at least I need) to see things like this:
We know the future, though not in some weird fortune-teller way. We know God’s sovereignty, love, and goodness. We know His promises and His faithfulness. We know His nature– and if He is actively involved in our futures, which we know He is, then we know the future all works out to Good. We can feel free to experience the present. Yes, at times it will be painful. At times it will be hard. At times we will want to hide away from the world and curl up within our hearts– but we must trust in God’s guidance, that He is ever with us, day by day. We know God in our memories by His grace– but we must ever be aware that His grace is present not just in our past, but in the future and the present as well! In fact, the present is the present because God is present. Ooh– that’s deep.
You see, this is my prayer:
May I have wisdom and peace for the future, a peace that transcends all understanding. May I have strength to live for you this day, and may I experience your comfort as the day grows long. May I know your love for me and the goodness of Your creation– and may I constantly ABSORB all these things as I go through life.
May I have faith, hope, and love:
The truth is, God is present in all of this. Past, Present, Future. Heart, Body, Mind, Soul. Inside, Outside, Everywhere- God is Here. This image gives me so much comfort:
Because it means this:
My Father is in Control– “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”- Matthew 10:29-31
We Live by the Spirit– “What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.”- 1 Corinthians 2:12
Christ In You– “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ inyou, the hope of glory.”- Colossians 1:27
My Father loves me and loves His children. He goes ahead of us and prepares the way. He is in control.
The Spirit loves me and loves His creation. He comes alongside us and helps us redeem the time with fire and love. He is present.
The Son loves me and loves His brothers and sisters. He lived and died for us and His blood is now flowing through our hearts. He came so that we could know Him, truly know Him. And we treasure Him above all else.
Now, I know that you could point out flaws in my logic and theology. Surely, you might argue, it should be like this:
You could say, “Your point on God the Father is right on, but doesn’t Jesus promise us in Matthew 28:20 that He is with us to the end of the age? And isn’t the Spirit the one who lives within us? It says so in 2 Corinthians 1:22, Ephesians 3:16, and Romans 8:9. You made the…”
And to that, I would say, “Yes.” That has biblical backing and is true. It comforts me as well and can be an encouragement to many others.
Yes, that image is true, but so is mine. And so are a hundred other images. And yet, at the same time, they are all untrue, for any image, any word, that tries to confine God to dimensions of time and space is absurd. Yes, our words and our images are absurd, but I wouldn’t say they are, in their nature, sacrilegious. Some might, because they seem to portray God in a light that is completely contrary to His nature revealed in Scripture and elsewhere. But others argue that we must not have graven images, as it says in the Old Testament. It’s an offense to God to try and draw Him or put him down on stone or scroll or computer screen.
And yet I say, God has made Himself to be known.
Yes, There was a time where He preferred to reveal Himself in glory, light, mystery, and mist. But He chose to come down in a messy human body. He chose to reveal His name to us. He chose to give us words and stories and ideas that would help us know Him.
I would even say that God has provided ways for us to ABSORB him, in the manner I spoke of before. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Eat of my body and drink my blood. Touch the holes in my hand– they are real. I am real. Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.
We take God in, breathe Him in, treasure these experiences in our heart. Yet that is all they are- experiences, memories, words, images, ideas. They are not God. For God is larger than any construct or system we could construct or systemize. But He gives us the grace to know Him through these symbols, stories, and pictures. Thank you for your Grace, Abba. Thank you that we can know the future, experience the present, treasure the past, and live in You.
We are like Amphibians, who dwell in water and on dry land. Yet we live in three places– the past, the present, and the future. We ABSORB all life around us and are fueled by what we take in. We are all Absorbians!
And fortunately, graciously, we are all God’s.